Nevada County’s dispatch logs are back at it again, delivering a mix of chaos, confusion, and characters that would give any soap opera a run for its money. From Instacart driver concerns to bacon burglaries and mysterious guns unearthed in yards—we’ve got it all. Grab your beverage of choice, maybe lock your freezer, and let’s dive into the latest round of “you can’t make this stuff up.”
The Mattress Money Mystery
A man called to report that his girlfriend (wait—wife now?) had stolen money from under his mattress while he was in the hospital. He mentioned there’s a restraining order involved—on him. So, to recap: he’s married to the suspect, claims she used his bank cards before they got hitched, and now he’s planning to get his statements and call back.
Honestly, this feels less like a call log and more like a deleted scene from Judge Judy.
The Bacon Heist
A woman called to report that her landlord—who happens to be the protected party in an elder abuse order—broke into her home and stole bacon from her freezer. Yes. Bacon. They apparently also rummaged through her stuff and made a dump pile in the yard.
I don’t know what’s more concerning here: the unauthorized bacon snatching or the fact that this is somehow not the first “freezer theft” call we’ve seen. Nevada County: where even your breakfast isn’t safe.
Backyard Gun Discovery
A caller reported finding a rusted-shut .22 handgun buried in their yard and requested someone come pick it up.
This feels like the small-town version of Antiques Roadshow—except instead of a vintage vase, it’s a crusty firearm wrapped in “no thanks.” I’d love to know what else is in that yard. Civil War cannonballs? Al Capone’s lunchbox?
Instacart: True Crime Edition
An Instacart driver called 911 after a woman receiving groceries claimed she’d been kidnapped from Wisconsin. But plot twist—the woman was walking around freely, tending to the property, and later admitted it was just a joke.
Ma’am, we need to talk about timing. This isn’t open mic night at the motorhome. Dispatcher advice: “Know your audience,” which honestly applies to 97% of life’s situations. Especially when the punchline is “kidnapped.”
The 8-Hour Scam Call
A woman requested a call back about a scam she stayed on the phone with… for eight hours. EIGHT. HOURS.
That’s not a scam, that’s a full-time job. I don’t know what’s worse: the scammer’s persistence or the fact that they probably took lunch breaks. If this isn’t a cautionary tale for hanging up after minute two, I don’t know what is.
From bacon thefts and mattress money to scammer marathons and bad jokes that nearly sparked an investigation, Nevada County continues to deliver call log gold. Honestly, you couldn’t write this stuff even if you tried.
If you enjoyed this peek into the dispatch files, consider subscribing to the blog so you never miss the latest in small-town what-the-heckery.
Disclaimer:
All calls within each “Call Log Diaries” are actual calls received by one of the following:
Nevada County Sheriff’s Office
Nevada City Police Department
Grass Valley Police Department
Call logs for each agency are public records and updated every 24 hours.
The writer is not affiliated with any of these agencies, their affiliates or the dispatch center.
All additional commentary is intended to bring a little levity to the small-town absurdity we all share. It is not meant to slander, mock, or cause harm to any individual or group.
What’s your take? Drop it below!