Ah, Nevada County—where the call logs read like a Mad Libs book written during a fever dream. We’ve got everything this week: a pantsless peacekeeper, a hot tub hussy, a feline vampire hunter, and one deeply concerned citizen advocating for bunny population control. Whether it’s uninvited BO in your basement or someone using your kid’s key like it’s a backstage pass, one thing’s for sure—we’re not running out of strange anytime soon. Buckle up, readers—this one’s a wild hop through the rabbit hole.
Tie-Dye and Traffic Control
A man in a pink tie-dye shirt (sans pants) attempted to become a freelance traffic cop.
Someone clearly misunderstood what it means to “take a stand.”
911 Gratitude Call
Guy calls 911 over a breakup argument with his newly ex-girlfriend which lead to her taking a house key from his son. Afterwards calls back to say thanks… on 911.
The sentiment was sweet. The method?
Still not allowed, my dude.
I Am….Catman
Local cat takes on a literal bat. Not the baseball kind. The Dracula kind.
Pretty sure this is how superheroes are born. Someone check the cat for a cape.
Basement BO Bandit
Caller suspects an intruder in her basement based on aggressive footwork and strong body odor.
When your nose knows, it knows.
Hot Tub Intruder: Nude Edition
Landlord’s ex shows up naked, makes threats, tries to break-in the residence, then posts up in the hot tub like it’s a spa day for chaos.
Nothing says “I’m over it” like trespassing nude to chill in your ex’s Jacuzzi.
Musical Donations Gone Rogue
Caller donates to homeless kids’ to help get them musical instruments but claims it funded hard substances and sex work instead. Promises vengeance due to being terminally ill and fearing no one “except God.”
This man is either the brother of John Wick or composing the most intense country song ever written.
Bunny Buildup
Caller concerned over an large and concerning gathering of rabbits.
Is it a bunny flash mob? A furry uprising? Either way, somebody call Animal Control… and maybe Pixar.
The Naked Gatekeeper
Caller stated he was receiving an unwelcome, full-frontal greeting from a man who was cursing at his front gate.
Maybe he was cursing due to being out on a public road in his birthday suit? I certainly would be rather unhappy in that situation.
Another week, another reminder that Nevada County has all the makings of a reality show we’d definitely binge—but only with popcorn and maybe a panic button. From bunny mobs to hot tub meltdowns, our emergency lines stay spicy. If you’ve ever questioned your life choices, just be glad none of them led you to trying to control traffic in a tie-dye shirt with your pants around your ankles.
Until next time, stay safe, stay weird, and for the love of local law enforcement,
please stop using 911 as a review hotline.
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Disclaimer:
All calls referenced in this post are real public record reports made to the Nevada County Sheriff’s Office or Grass Valley Police Department. I am not affiliated with either agency. The commentary provided is intended to bring lightness to otherwise disheartening or bizarre situations and is not meant to slander, mock, belittle, or harm any individual involved.
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