Every day, dispatchers receive a wide range of calls—some urgent, some heartbreaking, and others that just leave them scratching their head or stifling a laugh. Here are a few highlights from this week’s call logs that range from combative to concerned to crazy.
Bathroom Breakdown
Early one morning, an uncle called 911 because his 9-year-old nephew had locked himself in the bathroom. The uncle was worried that he may harm himself since he was banging on the walls and yelling. When asked what lead to the outburst it was discovered he was upset because he had to go to school. If this kid thinks school is rough, wait until he realizes he’ll be scrubbing the bathroom spotless for the rest of his life.
The “Mom Friend”
A concerned caller dialed 911 to report that their friend hadn’t shown up as expected. While still on the line with dispatch, the friend casually walked in, totally fine and wondering what all the fuss was about. Plot twist—this friend’s sense of timing is as bad as their ability to answer texts.
Garden Gone Wrong
A caller was fuming after spending $2,000 on gardeners, only to have their garden look worse than before. Dispatch had to remind them this wasn’t exactly an emergency but was a civil issue. For two grand, I hope those gardeners at least threw in a free therapy session—because that kind of disappointment cuts deep.
The Cat Burglar
A caller claimed their ex had stolen their cat and requested help recovering their furry friend. When they find the cat I’d suggest a custody battle, but the cat’s probably hiding out plotting revenge on both of them.
Salsa and Socks Vandal
A woman reported finding her car covered in salsa one night and then discovering dirty socks stuffed under her windshield wiper the next. She reported having no idea who’s behind the odd pranks and requested extra patrols in the area. Between the salsa and the socks, I’d say someone’s trying to send a message…but what kind of vandal has a taco truck’s aesthetic?
If you ever wonder what kind of calls law enforcement deal with on a daily basis, these logs should give you a good idea. From bathroom breakdowns to salsa flinging vandals, there’s no such thing as a dull day. Officers may not have all the answers, but they sure have all the stories.
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