Welcome back to another thrilling Call Log Diaries – aka “Why Is This a 911 Call?” This week, we’ve got a tortoise on a joyride, a bear where it doesn’t belong, car alarm purgatory, and a saxophone solo that ended in an accidental emergency. You know, just your average dispatch calls in Nevada County. Let’s dive in before someone calls dispatch because their squirrel gave them attitude.

The Tortoise and the Wheelbarrow

A caller reported they had contained a loose tortoise—in a wheelbarrow—and were requesting pickup.

First of all, shoutout to whoever looked at a wandering tortoise and thought, “Yep. You’re going in the wheelbarrow.” That’s resourcefulness and gentle judgment in action. I sincerely hope the tortoise enjoyed its ride—slow and steady and chauffeured, as it should be.

Bear Trapped in a Subaru

A woman called 911 to report a bear stuck inside her dark gray Subaru Outback. Before wildlife officers could stage a rescue, her husband freed the bear himself.

That’s either peak bravery or peak “hold my beer.” I have so many questions, but mostly: was the bear just trying to test-drive the car? Maybe he heard Subarus are great in the snow and wanted in on that AWD life.

Phantom Car Alarm

A concerned neighbor called in to report a car alarm going off repeatedly with no response from the homeowners—who appeared to be home. Turns out, the neighbor was sitting on the key fob the whole time… and is deaf.

So basically, this whole ordeal was brought to you by one very persistent alarm system and a key fob in the wrong place at the wrong time. This is modern technology vs. humans, round 482.

Brake Failure Loop-de-Loop

A woman called 911 because her brakes failed, and she couldn’t stop—so she did what anyone would do in a panic: she kept circling around the roundabout on East Main until coming to a stop in front of Carl’s Smog.

Ma’am, this is not NASCAR. Let this be a reminder to us all—if your brakes go out, maybe don’t treat the roundabout like a carousel. I’m just glad the smog guys got a show on their lunch break.

Saxophone Incident

A man called to report that his saxophone playing accidentally triggered his alarm system. He reset the alarm but called 911 just in case.

First of all, what kind of Kenny G chaos were you blowing into that horn to make the alarm system think it was under attack?! Second, if your saxophone solo is powerful enough to trip alarms, you’re either a jazz legend or you’ve summoned a musical poltergeist. Either way, I salute you.

And there you have it—tortoises on the move, bears breaking into Subarus, and saxophone solos turning into potential SWAT situations. Nevada County continues to be the magical, slightly feral place where every week feels like an episode of Parks and Rec, but with more wild animals and fewer permits. If you’ve ever wondered what small-town life really looks like, look no further than the Call Log Diaries.