There’s a special kind of manipulation that makes you question everything you thought you knew—from what actually happened last Tuesday to whether your own feelings are even allowed. That, friends, is gaslighting. And if it’s ever made you feel like you’re losing your mind in slow motion? You’re not crazy. You’re probably being lied to… with flair.
Let’s break this down, plain and simple—with maybe a little sass, because you know that’s how we do things around here.
Reality Check – Denied
If regular lying is just dishonesty, gaslighting is premium-grade manipulation. It’s when someone denies your lived reality so hard, you actually start to wonder if you hallucinated the entire conversation. It’s not always loud or explosive either. Sometimes it’s a casual, “You’re overreacting,” or the classic, “I never said that.”
Spoiler: They did say that. And you didn’t overreact.
Lies, Gaslighting’s Favorite Seasoning
Let’s not forget the liars. Oh, the liars. A good gaslighter doesn’t just twist your words—they rewrite history with the confidence of a guy who thinks he invented the internet. They lie about what they said, what you said, what your mom said, and probably about that text you just read aloud. And it’s not just to cover their butts. It’s about control.
Keeping you confused means keeping you compliant.
Gaslighting Red Flags
Gaslighters don’t look like villains and can be anyone, regardless of gender.
They’re often charming, helpful, even considered “humble.” But they’ll flip the script so fast, you’re left standing there holding a bucket of blame that isn’t yours wondering why they’re the ones upset.
You feel like you’re constantly apologizing, but you’re not sure why.
You walk away from conversations feeling like your brain got chewed up and spit out.
You start thinking things like, “Maybe I am too sensitive…”
You hear, “You’re remembering it wrong,” more than “I’m sorry.”
You keep doubting your gut, even when it’s screaming at you .
They might say things like:
“I guess I just can’t do anything right.”
“You’re blowing this out of proportion.”
“I never said that. You must’ve misunderstood.”
Sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so.
You didn’t forget that conversation. They just don’t want you to remember it correctly.
Protecting Your Peace and Sanity
Look, we don’t play these games anymore. (Ain’t nobody got time for that.) If you feel like you’re constantly questioning yourself around someone, it’s time to get real clear about what’s happening.
Here’s your mini survival kit:
Document EVERYTHING:
texts, dates, even conversations.
Be sure to always have the full date and time written down with the event.
Always use 24 hour time when documenting:
(there’s an undeniable difference in 4:00 and 16:00 and yes, I learned this from being gaslight by someone)
Talk to someone outside the situation:
Preferably someone who doesn’t think “boundaries” is a dirty word, who is not directly related to the person and who you can trust to not tell the person what your suspicions are
Stop JADE-ing (Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain)
Trust your gut (for the most part.)
Prolonged mental abuse in this fashion can cause paranoid thinking, PTSD and other mental health concerns. If you’re experiencing any of theses or other mental health issues please seek the advice and care of a health care provider.
If someone constantly makes you feel like your memory’s faulty, your emotions are too big, and your boundaries are up for debate, that’s not love. That’s manipulation, with a side of gaslight flare-ups. And babe, you deserve so much better.
So here’s me, lighting a real flame under the lies and confusion, saying:
You’re not crazy. You’re catching on.
Have you dealt with gaslighting or chronic lying in your relationships?
Leave a comment below telling how you handled it!
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