When Healing Feels Like Breaking
Most of us have heard the saying, “things have to get worse before they get better.” Nowhere is this more true than in the journey of overcoming trauma. The reality is, healing requires us to face our past, to relive it in some way in order to process what truly happened and how it continues to affect us.
The path to healing is different for everyone. Some people can reflect on their past gently, while others have to be shaken to their core before they can begin addressing and healing their wounds. This deep, often painful reckoning doesn’t usually happen at the beginning of your healing journey. In fact, for many, it comes right before the breakthrough. That moment of feeling like everything is crumbling? That’s often a sign that you’re closer than ever to true healing.
This realization usually arrives in the form of a trauma response.
A trauma response is the body and mind’s reaction when faced with memories, triggers, or situations that bring up past trauma. These responses can manifest in different ways: emotionally, physically, and mentally.
Emotional Responses
Fear, sadness, helplessness, or anxiety
Feeling numb, disconnected, or unable to experience joy
Anger, irritability, or emotional outbursts
Self-blame or negative thoughts about yourself and the world
Feeling detached from others, avoiding intimacy, or fearing abandonment
Physical Symptoms
Sweating, shaking, or nausea
Unexplained pain or tension in the body
Fainting or dizziness
Other Common Trauma Responses
Intense anxiety or stress
Feeling overly protective of others
Avoiding certain places or people that bring back bad memories
Nightmares, insomnia, or disturbed sleep patterns
Changes in Thinking
Intrusive thoughts or flashbacks of the traumatic event
Replaying painful memories over and over
Difficulty concentrating or remembering things
Persistent negative thoughts about yourself, others, or the world
These reactions, while distressing, are completely normal. Over time, with repeated exposure to triggers and intentional healing work, they will start to lessen. One of the most common trauma responses is panic attacks, which, though terrifying, can actually be helpful in identifying triggers.
When you experience a trauma response, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, like you’re spiraling out of control. But there are two key things to remember in these moments:
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Don’t try to suppress or judge what you’re feeling. The more you resist your emotions, the more power they have over you. Instead, recognize them for what they are: a response to past trauma, not a reflection of your current reality.
Take a moment to identify what you’re feeling—fear, anger, sadness, confusion—and say it out loud or write it down. Naming your emotions can help validate your experience.
Stay in the Present Moment
Staying present during a trauma response can be challenging, but it is essential for grounding yourself and regaining a sense of control. There are many grounding techniques can help bring you back to the here and now. Focusing on your breath can help anchor you in the moment; take deep, slow breaths and pay attention to each inhale and exhale.
Use your five senses to reconnect with the present and ground yourself:
5 things you can see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
As time passes, trauma responses will become less intense and less frequent. If you’re working with a mental health specialist, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a powerful tool for processing trauma. It’s widely regarded as one of the most effective treatments for PTSD and trauma-related disorders, helping people reprocess painful memories so they no longer have the same emotional charge.
Healing isn’t linear, and it isn’t easy.
But the fact that you’re here, reading this, means you’re on the right path.
Stay tuned for Part 3: A Look at the Past While Staying in the Present, coming next week!
What’s your take? Drop it below!