When I was younger and thinking of the day I would have children of my own, I always imagined having a boy first and then a girl. I pictured a big brother as a protector, someone who would always look out for his little sister and keep her safe. My own big brother wasn’t around much during my childhood due to me being adopted from birth, but as adults, we’ve become close. He’s stepped into that role seamlessly, even though it really only began when I was 21. So, when the day came, only a few months after reuniting with my brother, when my son was born, I was overjoyed that my daydream had become a reality.

Now, after raising both a boy and a girl, I’ve realized that while parenting is parenting at its core, there are some key differences between raising boys and girls. In the grand scheme of things, love, support, and guidance are universal, but day-to-day life? That’s where the contrasts show up in ways that are both challenging and at times, hilarious.

Potty Training: Boys vs. Girls

Let’s start with one everyone has guessed by now: potty training. If you’ve ever heard the phrase “boys are easier to potty train,” it’s true—at least in my experience. Boys seem to have this carefree approach to it and let’s face it, the novelty of being able to “aim” makes the process more engaging for them. Add in the fact that as long as you’re at home, boys can go basically anywhere (tree preferred) accidents seem to happen far less often in those first few weeks. Girls, on the other hand, can be a bit more resistant (especially when it comes to #2’s). Accidents happen more often with girls so at least in the beginning, I’d recommend staying home where you know a bathroom is always nearby. Overall girls tend to take more patience and encouragement than boys.

Energy Levels and Rambunctiousness

When it comes to sheer energy, boys and girls bring different vibes to the table. Boys tend to be more rambunctious. They’ll climb on things they shouldn’t, turn the couch into a trampoline, and dive headfirst into puddles with zero hesitation. Girls, generally speaking, are calmer. They’ll have their bursts of energy, sure, but they’re also more likely to sit and focus on quieter activities, like coloring or pretend play.

It’s not that one is better than the other, but let me tell you, boys will test the durability of your furniture and your nerves more often than girls. My oldest two are only 14 months apart in age so while when separated their energies stick true to the above, when they’re together it turns into more of a battle of who can be the most crazy before mom loses her mind.

The Wardrobe Battle

Speaking of testing durability, boys have an uncanny ability to ruin clothes faster than you can replace them. Whether it’s grass stains, torn knees, or shoes that magically fall apart, it’s like they’re on a mission to destroy their clothes. Girls, while not immune to messes, seem to have a bit more awareness about keeping their clothes intact. That said, there’s a catch to this battle to keep clothes—girls will eventually find their way into your makeup. One day you’ll walk into your bathroom and discover a glittery crime scene, complete with lipstick smudges and foundation fingerprints everywhere. Or in my case, eyeliner drawings on cabinet doors and a child who swears it wasn’t her while sporting a mustache similar to Hitler.

Emotional Development

Emotionally, I’ve noticed that girls often mature faster. They’re more likely to articulate their feelings and process emotions in a way that’s intuitive. This also means they use their emotional smarts to try and get you to cave by crying or being overly cuddly. Boys, on the other hand, may take longer to open up or identify what’s bothering them. This doesn’t mean boys don’t feel deeply—they do. But sometimes, you have to dig a little deeper to understand what’s going on in their hearts.

Parenting at the Core

Despite these differences, the heart of parenting remains the same: raising kind, empathetic, and confident individuals. Whether I’m teaching my son to share or encouraging my daughter to stand up for herself, the goal is to give them the tools they need to navigate the world with strength and compassion.

At the end of the day, raising my kids has been one of the most rewarding (and exhausting) experiences of my life. Sure, they approach life differently, but the joy they bring is the same. Whether I’m scrubbing mud out of my son’s pants or wiping mascara off my daughter’s cheeks, I wouldn’t trade these moments for anything.

Raising kids is less about the differences between them and more about embracing their individual uniqueness—because no matter what, they always find a way to surprise, challenge, and make you laugh.